Getting going

So do you want to? The temptation so often is to let something rest as a good idea, and not to implement it. If you just try one thing each week for the next few weeks, see what you can do to see yourself differently.
1. Evaluate your physical state
How are you feeling about your body? Does it need a little exercise, a lot, or are you an obsessed exerciser? Do you like your physical features? Why or why not?
You probably know that endorphins released in exercise can lift your mood, including your sexual appetite. But if you are not mentally there, you might want to start charting out some goals and put thought and prayer (maybe a girl friend's input, too) on what you can do to start heading in a direction of health in this regard. Your physical closeness with your husband will be greatly enhanced by this focus.
2. Food for thought
Make a list of your most healthy and unhealthy eating habits/food groups. Think through this list and what it implies about your physical health. What does food mean to you and why? Then enlist a person to pray and hold you accountable to working one item to remove or add to your diet. See what God reveals to you about your food patterns and intake.
3. Evaluate your relationships
This is purely platonic speaking. Are you overextended in your friendships? Do you spend too much time on your social media image that you forget the people directly around you? Do you need to spend some time with certain people that are good for you, and not certain others? Make a visual of your circles of friendships (closest to distant) and see what pops out at you about your relationships.
4. Your relationship with God
This is where I want to tread lightly. You alone are the best judge of your view of God, and the relationship you have with him. Do you want more or less of Him in your life? Why? Can you map our the last few months of where God has worked in and through your life and where you know you've perhaps made yourself more distant? Take a peek at the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5 as you ponder some of the other questions.

This may feel like a lot to begin with, but like i said, map it out for yourself to focus on just one area a week for the next month. You can simply evaluate first, and then work on little ways to begin to view yourself as a Song of Songs girl. This is the goal, remember? You can be the beautiful, strong and confident woman of God that loves and nurtures her relationships, giving God the glory and your husband the best of you.

Using the 'towers'

So what does it take to walk around with those ‘towers,’ doing their thing?

You may be able to think of several other examples of women that fit in to our schema of strong, attractive women that have the ability to hold a man’s attention and still have the persona and character to be admired by other women. But perhaps you don’t believe you fit that category as a whole.  I don’t know what your story is, and where you’ve had to struggle, but let me paint a picture for you.

You have breasts. You were created with them. When you walk in to a room, you carry with you a power in those breasts to persuade a man to do just about anything you want. Depending on what you wear and how you sell it, your sexuality is a powerful advantage. You know there are girls out there who use it for destruction; they simply use sex, or the idea of it, to gain something selfish. But don’t focus on that right now.  Couple your outward physicality with an inward heart that longs to do the right thing. You are Esther, and you know the happiness of many depend on how you approach the single men in that room. As her adopted father Mordecai tells Esther, perhaps you also were created for such a time as this. Perhaps there is a man in that room whom you are to intoxicate with your physical attractiveness, strengthen with your faith in him, empower by your thoughts and ideas, and embolden with your courage. Behind every great man is a great woman, goes the saying. The Bible is full of them.  You can be the total package, you can start today to be all you were meant to be. You were meant to be hot, inside and out.

And even greater breasts of towers....

Okay, one more example. Yes, again from the Bible. Esther was an insignificant girl of Jewish heritage during Persian rule when many Jews lived in captivity. She was beautiful naturally; the book of Esther reports that she had 'graceful features', and went through vigorous beauty treatments for almost a year (yikes!) to make herself acceptable for King Xerxes of Persia. The combination of natural attributes and beauty school resulted in Esther becoming a concubine of the king; again, a man who had much experience and would know a hot woman when he saw one. The Bible says he was so pleased with her that he crowned her queen and gave her all kinds of power. Hmm...we won't wonder here too much what exactly this could imply, but we'll get back to it.
What's the point of being queen? Maybe just preventing the annihilation of your people? Esther mustered up the courage to approach this powerful king and ask him to save the Jewish people from an edict that would have forced the death of all the Jews— and he did it. Just because she asked him, and dealt with him in a manner that worked. She, like Ruth, showed respect, a strong knowledge of a culture not her own, and an enormous faith in the good intentions of her man and God. It could’ve meant her death, revealing her Jewish heritage and daring to ask the king such a bold question, and she knew it. Breasts of towers, baby.

Breasts of Towers, continued

Another girl with Breasts of Towers is, yes, another Bible character-- Ruth. She was significant enough to have a book of the Bible named after her. Ruth wasn’t necessarily a hottie with a body (as our Song of Songs girl clearly was), but she was a faithful, thoughtful, courageous woman.  She was a foreigner who decided that caring for her dead husband's mom was more important than returning to her own people. So Ruth displayed first a lesson in faith. She trusted the God of her husband's family and put that relationship first. When Ruth arrived in this foreign land, she was resourceful, and started working even lower than a servant to put food on the table for her mother-in-law, Naomi. We know that this willingness to care and provide for Naomi, perhaps together with her beauty or foreign appearance, made Ruth noticeable to a very respected man, Boaz. He showed her great kindness, above what anyone would have expected, so that Ruth and Naomi realized he was rare. She stuck close for the harvesting time, and then followed that clever Naomi’s advice. She put herself out there by showing significant initiative: She slept at Boaz' feet on a threshing floor, akin to asking him to marry her and giving her the protection of his name, signified by his garment. She knew he would understand her actions and words, and she trusted him to take it from there.  Boaz proved to be up to the task, and handled it like a true man of character. Ruth's actions took confidence, an unwavering self-awareness, and love of and faith in people and in God. In other words: breasts of towers.

Breasts of Towers

If hotness can be described as much as an attitude as an appearance, then the title above is what I think of--and I get it from the Bible. I don’t know if you think of the Bible when you think of ‘hot girls’, but let me challenge you to reconsider. There is a woman in there that is the essence of “hotness.” You can find her in the little known but very juicy book Song of Songs. This is how her lover (yes, that is what they call him in there!) describes her:

“Your breasts are like two fawns

like twin fawns of a gazelle

that browse among the lilies.

Until the day breaks

and the shadows flee

I will go to the mountain of myrrh

and to the hill of incense.

All beautiful you are, my darling;

there is no flaw in you.” (Song of Songs 4:5-7) 

Are you blushing? Doesn’t he sound like he’s pretty happy with her physically, because you realize he’s speaking metaphorically, right? The 'lover' here is often contributed to be Solomon himself. As king of Israel, Solomon had a bunch of wives and even more concubines on the side. I wonder if he thought of them all this way, or perhaps because he had so much experience he had a special appreciation...? The Bible does say he was the wisest man to ever live... But I digress (and we don't know for certain that the poem is definitely indicating Solomon.)

Here is why I think she’s hot, though; read how she describes herself:

“I am a wall,

 and my breasts are like towers.

Thus I have become in his eyes

 like one bringing contentment.” (S.o.S. 8:10)

A wall. Surrounding a city, the treasure protected within. She is strength, she is safety, and the towers guide the way to the 'fortress.' Isn't this a wonderful metaphor for a confidence of what we can represent to our men? This girl KNOWS she’s hot. She knows her man is satisfied with her. She’s confident outwardly AND inwardly, enough to say her breasts are towers…she has the right attitude about herself, physically and emotionally.  She has accepted his view of her, that he is satisfied; and even beyond this, she realizes that the physical is linked to an emotional bond, a loving role of provision to her husband.

We will look at our Song of Songs girl a little more later, but there are a few other women of the Bible that are pretty hot, too.... 

 

Fostering your outer hotness

Have you thought about what it would look like for you to be labeled 'hot'? Has someone called you that? How did it make you feel? Why do you think you were given that label?
Obviously, people have different definitions of what it means to be hot. We all have certain characteristics and qualities that we are attracted to, and they could have more to do with personality in the long run, but there are certain males and females that others are drawn to, that everyone either wants to date or at least be around.
You can be hot based on a combination of inward and outward qualities, but ask yourself these questions: Is the way I carry myself on the outside reveal how I feel about myself on the inside?
Do you dress so you feel more feminine, attractive, intelligent? When we feel good about our bodies, we carry ourselves more upright, more aware. When we have confidence in who we are, we can look others in the eye and be focused on them, not ourselves. Do you know how to dress for your body type? Do you draw eyes to your overall put togetherness, or to your breasts, your figure, or where do you normally put the emphasis?
Have you thought about the message you are sending in the clothes you wear? This counts as much for the covered-up-all-everything as for the cleavage-oriented woman!
I've worked with many girls over the years and sometimes the prettiest girls have the hardest time knowing how to carry themselves. And the ones that have challenges often focus on bringing attention in ways that actually reverses any hotness they had--too much make up, too much cleavage, too tight in the pants to be attractive.
So as you are fostering your outer hotness, think of how you see yourself, and what you want the definition of 'hot' to be if someone labeled you that.

My Mission for Hotness U

My Mission
There are a lot of unhappy, Christian marriages out there, and I know how difficult this topic is for Christian women, but it is needed: we need to be hot, we need to sexual in our marriages, if single, we need to approach men the correct way! Mostly, we need to be able to talk about it! There is nothing more helpful than knowing you are not alone in your thoughts on these topics and concepts. That is the environment I want to help create; I am only one woman, and it will take a web-sized group effort, but it is possible.

My husband said it so well: Premarital sex is like a Jeep--everyone wants to look at it, everyone notices or wants it. Men can find jillion of websites related to upgrading their Jeep to make it even better. Christian marriage sex is like a Dodge Durango. It's also an SUV, but nobody notices it, and there is certainly not any websites upgrading your Durango. Every now and then a magazine will review it and talk will go around, but generally, nobody cares.

We want Christian marriages to be as hot and sexy as a Jeep! Premarital Sex needs not have the limelight any more.

SO, to start at the beginning, the mission is to define what is hot, what is not hot for women to be--inside and out. Let's understand ourselves, and work to understand our men. Then we can get somewhere.